# Re: Christmas Presents

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Posted by LeviLovR on December 18, 2019 at 14:24:37

In Reply to: Re: Christmas Presents posted by Ry on December 18, 2019 at 04:48:01:

Oh dear! I didn't mean to give the impression that we are all a bunch of Scrooges. I was actually trying to be a bit humorous, but there is a lot of truth in it too. There are several factors that are involved.

Nothing is more important than being with family! When I was a child we used to have wonderful Christmases where relatives came from all over. But time changes things and they are all dead now. My parents are both gone and the house we grew up in has been sold. My surviving family consists of three brothers, two nieces, and four great nieces and nephews, the oldest of which is seven. They are scattered across the country. My oldest brother is in Florida, one is in Ohio (disabled from a debilitating stroke and living in an assisted living facility). My oldest niece, her husband and two children also live in Ohio. My youngest brother, his daughter and her two children live here in Maine, not very far from me. I invited them to my house last year. Unfortunately it ended rather badly and my brother wound up leaving early. Too long to go into all the details but it dates back to an incident that happened seven years ago. As a result my brother and his daughter have little contact. I just returned from Ohio where I visited my relatives there. My niece did not tell my brother I was coming, so it was a complete surprise. I haven't seen him in 18 months since we sold our mother's house following her death. My youngest niece and her husband have just bought a new house - a place big enough so they can actually entertain. They invited me there for Thanksgiving and I will be going there Christmas eve as well. I can't wait, it will be so much fun watching the kids open their presents! Unfortunately my brother, who is their grandfather, won't be there to see them because he's being an ass. But I intend to make the most of it and have a wonderful time.

Presents. Hmm...As my brothers and I got older we all got our own homes. We all bought whatever we needed and wanted. It got to the point where we were all just giving each other money and we realized it was just a bit stupid. My mother hated to give up giving presents, but she eventually agreed it was a good idea and to just buy for the kids. We would still go to her house Christmas eve and have a good meal and get together. Of course not everybody could make it every year. My mom's last Christmas was spent in a nursing home. We were able to use a room for a few hours that had a tree, table and chairs and some couches. We all made it except my brother in Florida. She died a few weeks later. My youngest niece has given me the only present I really want - spending time with her and her family. I have bought the kids some toys. I want nothing! If the kids make me a little homemade ornament or present I will be thrilled. The big deal is spending time with them and seeing Christmas through their eyes. Not to sound mercenary, but cost is a factor. My 7 year old niece wants a hover board and a four wheeler. Even her own parents won't be able to afford those, especially after just buying their first house. And the cost of mailing is prohibitive as well. Trust me, after working 30 years in the Post Office and seeing what people pay to send gifts all over the world, well it just astounds me. And obviously many of these people cannot afford it. My family is not rich, and I truly would rather see them take that money and spend it on themselves and get something they really want or need rather than buy me something I don't really want or need.

Think about it. So many presents get regifted. So many presents get exchanged for something else - and so much time and effort and money has been put into buying them. I don't think my idea is really all that far fetched. As I said, we can even wrap our presents we have bought ourselves, put them under the tree and open them just like we normally would. Personally I would love to see what others bought themselves, knowing that it was something they would use - but more importantly make them happy!

Time does change one's perspective. If I sound greedy or selfish, I am sorry. But I don't think it's all that greedy and selfish. I'm actually sparing my family the hassle, time and money of buying me a gift. I know they love me and they know I love them. That's the best gift of all. No, we can't all be together like we were in the past, which would be ideal, but we will be thinking of each other and remembering. Those of us who can be together will be, making memories for the next generation. That's all that really matters.

Sorry for the long post. I just don't want you to think we are all Grinches. Gifts come in many forms. Material stuff I can buy for myself - and I prefer to do so. I can't get my parents back, I can't get my grandparents back, I can't get cousins and other relations back. My brothers can't or won't be there, but we will be together in our hearts and memories. And that's the best gift of all.

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