# The most inane story I can thik of, thanks Ry for voting for me to stay :)

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Posted by Squishy Plushie on June 20, 2024 at 19:11:36
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MarRyAnne put on her prettiest wedding dress and boarded the bus. It was voting day. To vote for whether the local bard should be barred. But MarRyAnne couldn't be bothered to vote Instead she jumped off the bus while it was crossing the river. Instantly she was soaked. Her wedding dress got tangled round her feet, but she remembered Archimedes, her pet squirrel. It culdn't swim either. But hey, along came Felix the cat, and saved her. But he had run out of disk space, and could only save either her top half or bottom half. So he did, just like Schrodinger's Cat. Randomly Marianne asks everyone if they object to her stories, but only Roberta Hack did object. Then tick tock the clock falls off the wall, and she realises that because she gave everybody the chance to vote her down, and only Roberta Hack bothered to vote, that nobody wanted to get rid of her, and that they are lying when they claim childishly and inanely that they do. So she jumps back in the river and has another swim. By now she has however found a far wammier community, where other bards continually draw AI artworks of Ophelia's forever having fun, but still randomly posts strange and painfully immature magical fantasy stories like this one, and will forever continue to do so, safe in the proven knowledge that only one person (Roberta Hack) voted against her. [CHAPTER 2]. Pippi Longlegs met Mommy Longstocking at Tiswas. She said "Huggy Wuggy". She said "What the fork you talking about"? Consequences: they posted another story, but it wouldn't load beacuse Felix the Cat had disabled JabberScript. Which turned out quite wise, because then there would be a lot of procedurally-generated cross-dressing fairy stories such as Marianne's Boat trip, starring Stephanie, Felicity, and Squishy Squashy. [CHAPTER 3] Once upon a time, there was a fun BBS called Wacky Wet. Then a lot of stupid Real Humans started hating on each other, meaning they didn't have time to get wet any more. Then they got bored, and went to the birds. But the birds just said "Tweet Tweet". Then Squishy and Twillin and a few other wammers held a Millennium Pool Party. And six people came. And Danora Dopamine said "This is Good". Then Benmeister messed up the forum with evangelistic tripe. And Squishy Squashy Left. And moved to Last.fm. Meanwhile Wacky "Real Humans" had to pick another scapegoat, called Swimblack. And after a while he left, after being bullied by users who should have known better. Then Yahvo realised that most of the users are actually just wannabees, not having the spiritual courage to get wet in public, for fear of being murdered by the Police (or worse), and an Angel of the Lord appeareth before them, saying "Stop being envious of other wammers, just looking at them all wet (often called "Wetlook") and go and get wet thyself. So they did, and realised that WackyWet was a sham, a place of pretence, and many humans were saved, and joined their local health club or leisure centre, where they could enjoy the feel, not just the look, of wet clothes. Then Microsoft uttered forth GWX, and the Real Humans fell down and worshipped it, like the gutless fools they be. But the Future Youth, being the son of Real Human, were teleported away to ... [CONTINUED ON DDG SOMETIME]

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